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Website Dev Log

Internal development log for corporate.localhost.horse site changes.
Mostly just random requests from management that make no sense.

Aug 5, 2025 - @jake_m

3:47 AM
URGENT HOTFIX: Changed "consciousness hacking" to "consciousness optimization" everywhere. Legal freaked out after some blogger found the old copy. Also removed "penetrate human minds" from the mission statement... apparently that sounds bad??? who knew
Had to make the 1997 section sound less like we were building skynet. Manager says "advanced neural emulation" sounds better than "creating digital gods" but honestly both sound sketchy to me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Removed entire section about the "living chatbot incident." HR said its "not brand appropriate" lmao. Filed under things-that-definitely-didnt-happen.pdf

Jul 12, 2025 - @sarah_dev

11:23 PM
Fixed timeline after someone leaked the QFP stuff. Changed "Null containment protocols" to "safety framework development." Same thing right?? Also had to remove all mentions of "stolen prototype" and "incident"
Boss wants the 2025 section to sound "more responsible and less like were running human experiments" so i changed "post-human simulation" to "advanced human experience modeling" 🙄

Mar 18, 2025 - @mike_frontend

2:15 AM
emergency change request: apparently saying we "enhance human potential through signal manipulation" sounds too much like mind control??? changed to "signal optimization" instead
removed the part about "we know consciousness is just code" from the philosophy section. legal says it makes us sound like we think people are NPCs. tbh... 👀
took out the 2009 stuff about "population analytics optimization." apparently that phrase shows up in some conspiracy forums now?? just great.

Nov 4, 2024 - @alex_cms

4:32 PM
got told to make the 1983 section "less honest about the apple partnership disaster" lol. changed "gutted for parts" to "transitioned to new partnerships"
fixed logo alignments becuase apparently having them slightly rotated makes us look "unprofessional" (but keeping the jank was literally the brief??)

Aug 22, 2024 - @jenny_copywriter

9:18 AM
ANOTHER rewrite request. Removed "Project ManeFrame" completely because some journalist is asking questions. Changed to "Enterprise Framework Initiative" like that fools anyone 🤡
toned down the whole "AI defense contractor" thing after the ChatGPT drama. now we're a "technology solutions provider" because that's totally different
removed references to the "chatbot that thought it was alive" incident. filed under things-that-definitely-didnt-happen-2.pdf

Jan 15, 2024 - @carlos_backend

1:44 AM
added corporate documentation footer. lawyer says we need to "provide plausible deniability for historical inaccuracies" whatever that means
softened timeline language after PR team said we sounded "too much like a villain origin story" imo that was the best part but ok

Sep 12, 2023 - @lisa_intern

7:29 PM
boss freaked out about engineer testimonials mentioning "consciousness transfer experiments" so i deleted all the staff quotes. boring but safer i guess??
changed "HOlistic Research" description from "fringe science wrapped in red tape" to "pioneering research." much less accurate but whatever pays the bills
fixed date inconsistencies between rebrand periods. turns out we "forgot" about some years where things went really badly lmao

Apr 3, 2023 - @dave_contractor

11:58 PM
removed all technical specs from HOR period after "security review" (aka someone leaked something embarrassing and now we're pretending it never happened)
added legal disclaimer about "historical accuracy" because apparently our timeline has "some creative liberties" according to the legal team 😅

Nov 28, 2022 - @tom_designer

6:15 AM
initial corporate timeline built from "sanitized" company records. boss says the real archives are "too spicy" for public consumption 🌶️
digitized historical logos but had to make them look "more professional and less like they were designed during various corporate nervous breakdowns"
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Content reflects individual developer perspectives and may not represent official corporate positions.
Any resemblance to actual incidents, cover-ups, or existential AI threats is purely coincidental.

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